You ask for permission to see your friends. You check your bank account nervously before making small purchases. You find yourself changing what you wear because you’re never sure what mood they’ll be in.
These aren’t quirks of a “difficult relationship”—they’re signs of coercive control, a systematic pattern of domination designed to strip away your freedom—one thread at a time.
Abuse isn't always a fist. Sometimes, it’s a thousand tiny threads of control that leave you feeling trapped, isolated, and constantly on edge.
Freedom From Invisible Chains: Healing from Coercive Control
It's Calculated, Not Crazy-Making
- Isolation: Systematically cutting you off from friends, family, and colleagues.
- Micromanagement: Dictating your clothing, meals, schedule, or parenting — your life is no longer your own.
- Financial Abuse: Controlling money, giving an “allowance,” or ruining your credit to prevent you from leaving.
- Degradation & Humiliation: Constant criticism, name-calling, or public put-downs erode your self-worth.
- Intimidation & Threats: Threatening looks, gestures, or language to instill fear and compliance.
The Abuser’s Playbook
Recognizing Control in Diverse Contexts
Coercive Control Happens Everywhere — Not Just Romantic Relationships
Family Dynamics & Parent to Child: Overbearing family members dictate adult lives under “care” pretense; relatives spread rumors or isolate; parents control adult children’s choices.
Workplace & HR: Bosses micromanage or undermine confidence; HR dismisses complaints or shields abusers; coworkers spread rumors or exclude.
Higher Education & School: Administrators punish non-conformers; peer groups use exclusion or harassment; advisors impose excessive rules.
Community Groups & Neighborhoods: Leaders enforce conformity; gossip and intimidation maintain social control.
Religious Organizations: Use of spiritual guilt, shaming, and ostracism; institutional protection of abusers.
Social Circles & Online: Social isolation or monitoring; cyber harassment; social media manipulation.
Grounding Yourself in the Moment
- Focus on slow, deep breathing.
- Place a hand on your chest or a comforting spot.
- Repeat quietly: “I am here. I know what I’m experiencing and what I have experienced is not okay. I will get through this, and this will pass.”
- Count objects, stretch, or imagine a safe place.
- Take small mental or physical breaks for strength.
Practical Tools
When Leaving Isn’t an Option
Working with me can help you:
Build confidence and set boundaries.
Develop grounding and coping skills.
Strategize handling enablers and social dynamics.
Reclaim identity and autonomy even without changing your surroundings.
Heal invisible wounds and regain control.
Support if You Can’t Leave
Strategy, Safety, and Embodied Freedom
My Unique Approach
What Sets My Work Apart
- Developing Tactical/Strategic Empathy/Responses: Anticipating abuser’s tactics to keep you safe.
- Navigating Institutional Control: Managing coercion in workplaces, religious groups, and communities.
- Understanding Enablers: Strategizing protection from indirect abuser supporters.
- Embodied Safety: Somatic techniques for nervous system regulation and trauma release.
Traning & Experience
Understanding the Mind Behind Coercive Control
You Can Reclaim Your Life
You deserve freedom, peace, and autonomy.
Healing from coercive control is possible.
You can move from surviving to thriving.
If ready, take the first step. You are not alone.
