Did you just find out your husband or partner has been lying, cheating, hiding pornography use, keeping secret accounts, messaging other people, or living a secret sexual life?
You may feel shocked, angry, numb, anxious, exhausted, embarrassed, or unsure what is real anymore. You may be checking phones, replaying conversations, searching for answers, or wondering whether you should stay or leave.
You do not have to figure it all out alone.
The Betrayed Partners Support Group is a small online support group for partners impacted by infidelity, pornography-related betrayal, secret sexual behavior, chronic lying, and relational deception.
It is a structured, trauma-informed space to understand what happened, build stability, learn practical recovery tools, and take the next right step, without pressure to forgive, reconcile, separate, or decide anything before you are ready.
Online Betrayal Trauma Support Group for Betrayed Partners
You are not just "hurting." You have been injured by Integrity Abuse. It's time you get tangible, actionable support. You are navigating Reality-Ego Fragmentation—a collision between your life and the Secret Sexual Basement (DCSR). You feel crazy, but you aren't. You are responding normally to an abnormal reality.
Here we stop treating a complex psychological injury with generic "heartbreak" advice. Here we choose truth over confusion, healing over codependency labels. A clearer future over staying stuck in betrayal fog or stabilized misery.
Here we stop treating a complex psychological injury with generic "heartbreak" advice. Here we choose truth over confusion, healing over codependency labels. A clearer future over staying stuck in betrayal fog or stabilized misery.
- You found hidden accounts, messages, images, or deleted conversations
- He says it was only porn, and it does not feel like only porn
- You cannot stop checking his phone, and you hate that you cannot stop
- You feel like you are losing your mind, or that you no longer know what is real
- He tells you that you are overreacting, or asks you to stop bringing it up
- He wants forgiveness, and you still do not have the truth
- You cannot sleep, eat, or focus since the day you found out
- He is in recovery, and you still do not feel safe
- You are embarrassed to tell anyone, and the people you did tell do not understand
- You do not know whether to stay or go, and you are tired of being asked
If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. What you are feeling makes sense in the context of betrayal, secrecy, and ongoing uncertainty.
Does This Sound Familiar?
You may be here because...
If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. What you are feeling makes sense in the context of betrayal, secrecy, and ongoing uncertainty.
This is a clinically focused coaching and betrayal trauma recovery support group. It is structured around professional education and trauma-informed recovery principles covering betrayal, deception, emotional safety, nervous system stabilization, boundaries, grief, self-trust, and relational recovery. This group is your sacred space to metabolize the truth.
We don't focus on their "addiction" or recovery outcomes. We focus on reclaiming your voice and stabilizing your reality.
True betrayal trauma recovery requires more than just time. It requires a deeper, forensic understanding of your reality. Having completed DST training (program now closed to new cohorts) under Dr. Omar Minwalla and Trish Haight, I use the Minwalla Model not to overwhelm you, yet to help you safely process the overwhelm.
Each week you receive guided education, practical tools, structured reflection, facilitated group processing, and the steady support of people who understand what you are living through. DST is a multi-layered psychological injury, recognized in Dr. Minwalla’s model, caused by the long-term impact of secrets, compulsive behavior, integrity abuse, and coordinated deception in intimate relationships.
This is not a generic drop-in support group, and it is not psychotherapy, diagnosis, medical care, legal advice, crisis intervention, or emergency care.
We don't focus on their "addiction" or recovery outcomes. We focus on reclaiming your voice and stabilizing your reality.
True betrayal trauma recovery requires more than just time. It requires a deeper, forensic understanding of your reality. Having completed DST training (program now closed to new cohorts) under Dr. Omar Minwalla and Trish Haight, I use the Minwalla Model not to overwhelm you, yet to help you safely process the overwhelm.
Each week you receive guided education, practical tools, structured reflection, facilitated group processing, and the steady support of people who understand what you are living through. DST is a multi-layered psychological injury, recognized in Dr. Minwalla’s model, caused by the long-term impact of secrets, compulsive behavior, integrity abuse, and coordinated deception in intimate relationships.
This is not a generic drop-in support group, and it is not psychotherapy, diagnosis, medical care, legal advice, crisis intervention, or emergency care.
What This Support Group Is
WHO THIS GROUP IS FOR
This group is for betrayed partners whose husband, wife, or partner has been involved in any of the following:
You do not need a particular label for your partner's behavior to belong here, and you do not need to have decided anything about your relationship.
We get that you never wanted to be part of this kind of group and never realized this would be a chapter in your journey. While other incredible programs offer a soft place to land or a cocoon to rest in, we also know that safety comes from strategy, not just sympathy.
We don't just hold your hand; we help you metabolize the new reality and help you create the healing, actionable blueprint for your story.
- Infidelity, affairs, or sexual messaging
- Hidden pornography use or paid sexual content
- Secret sexual behavior, hidden accounts, or online sexual activity
- Chronic lying, omissions, minimization, gaslighting, or relational deception
- Ongoing uncertainty about truth, safety, reconciliation, separation, or divorce
You do not need a particular label for your partner's behavior to belong here, and you do not need to have decided anything about your relationship.
We get that you never wanted to be part of this kind of group and never realized this would be a chapter in your journey. While other incredible programs offer a soft place to land or a cocoon to rest in, we also know that safety comes from strategy, not just sympathy.
We don't just hold your hand; we help you metabolize the new reality and help you create the healing, actionable blueprint for your story.
Group Details: Dates, Times, and Format
GROUP DETAILS
The current Foundation cohort is for women. If you are a betrayed partner looking for support outside this group, reach out and we will talk through what fits.
Participants need a private place to join, reliable internet, and the ability to attend at the scheduled time. Calendar invitations display the meeting in your local time zone.
The 12-Week Foundation
Experience
The first 12 weeks give you a shared, structured foundation for understanding betrayal trauma and beginning recovery. We use an "eating the elephant" approach, which means you do not have to solve your entire relationship, future, or recovery at once. You learn to take one manageable step at a time.
Healing is not linear, and no one is expected to be finished after 12 weeks. The Foundation Experience gives you language, tools, and a steady starting point.
Weeks 1 to 4: Naming, Stabilizing, and Safety
Weeks 5 to 8: Reality, Grief, and Self-Trust
Weeks 9 to 12: Boundaries, Accountability, and Next Steps
Healing is not linear, and no one is expected to be finished after 12 weeks. The Foundation Experience gives you language, tools, and a steady starting point.
Weeks 1 to 4: Naming, Stabilizing, and Safety
- The Reality Audit (Naming the Elephant): Discover your "hospital rooms," name the Integrity Abuse behaviors and their impact, and map the "Secret Basement" with forensic precision.
- Triage (Stabilizing the Core): Addressing Room 8 (Attachment Injury), stopping the immediate nervous system bleed. Somatic tools to sleep, eat, and function again.
- Tangible Safety Responses: Validating your intuition again and spotting integrity tactics (empowering yourself with clarity and strategy responses to gaslighting and stonewalling) in real-time.
Weeks 5 to 8: Reality, Grief, and Self-Trust
- The Body Keeps the Score [Minwalla Model of 'Eating the Elephant']: Breaking down the Discovery Trauma into digestible pieces so you don't choke on the pain.
- Grieving the PRE (Metabolizing the Lie): Mourning the Pre-Existing Reality (PRE)—the life you thought you had, the illusion—without internalizing the shame.
- Somatic Release with the Timeline Truth: Moving the trauma out of your Triadic Core (Body, Gender, Sexuality). Constructing your accurate history of the relationship, processing the new shared reality. Emotional grounding, processing through the Pompeii level of intensity and pain.
Weeks 9 to 12: Boundaries, Accountability, and Next Steps
- Radical IAR Reconstruction, Safety, and Tangible Healing. Boundaries: Not "rules for the addict," but "healing guardrails for you." Defining what you will not tolerate again. The IAR (Intentionally Accurate Reality): Constructing a new life based on truth and reconnection, not potential. Moving from 'Defense' to 'Integrated (emotional, psychological, physical) Safe Autonomy'. You become the empowered healer and guide on your own safety.
- Voice Reclamation: Finding the voice that was silenced by Entitlement.
- Your Healing based on Your Timeline and Protocols: Whether you Stay or Go, you do it with eyes wide open and full empowerment. We don't just talk about "sadness." We address Room 7 (Reality Fragmentation) and Room 9 (Intrusions) with specific clinical tools.
- Restorative Justice: It's not just about "forgiveness" but also, Restitution and Tangible Repair. You will have a safe space to define what "making it right" and what safety look like for you and your relationship, in a way that focuses on reconnection, not retribution. As much as the trauma might feel like it is a punishment, true healing is not about punishment; it's restorative.
Clarity, strategy, and healing
Recovery One Manageable Piece at a Time.
Ongoing Support
After the Foundation.
What You Get
• Weekly 75-min meetings: Trauma-informed structure, focused emotional safety, with grounding and closure every session
• Personal guidance & group psychoeducation: Metabolizing betrayal, discovery trauma, and relational justice
• Somatic regulation: Nervous system and body-based safety tools, processing trauma responses
• Written and creative exercises: Grieving, boundary setting, trauma mapping, understanding triggers
• Your timeline and choices: No pressure to reconcile, stay/leave, or meet “relationship goals”—this is about you
• Workbook: Take-home reflection, self-care planning, and a mapped archive of truth
• Resources: Glossary, FAQs, digital downloads, and referrals
• Personal guidance & group psychoeducation: Metabolizing betrayal, discovery trauma, and relational justice
• Somatic regulation: Nervous system and body-based safety tools, processing trauma responses
• Written and creative exercises: Grieving, boundary setting, trauma mapping, understanding triggers
• Your timeline and choices: No pressure to reconcile, stay/leave, or meet “relationship goals”—this is about you
• Workbook: Take-home reflection, self-care planning, and a mapped archive of truth
• Resources: Glossary, FAQs, digital downloads, and referrals
Frequently Asked Questions
• Do I have to stay with my partner, or work on the relationship?
No. Your healing does not depend on their participation, sobriety, or “success.” All relationship outcomes are honored.
• Can I join the group if I do not live near you? Yes. This group meets securely on Zoom, so partners may join from anywhere in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and other international locations. You will need a private, reliable place to participate, a stable internet connection, and the ability to attend at the scheduled group time in your local time zone. The group meets every Wednesday at 3:15 PM Pacific / 6:15 PM Eastern. Your Zoom invitation and calendar link will reflect the meeting time for your location.
• Who is this specialized approach for?
This group is a specialized clinical resource for partners seeking betrayal trauma recovery, specifically those navigating the Minwalla Model, Integrity Abuse, and the Secret Sexual Basement. It serves as an independent, high-level, tangible, separate healing path, regardless of whether the betrayer is in DSTE, Harm to Healing, DST recovery, addiction, or SA models.
• Is this a “codependency curriculum”?
No. This program will NEVER suggest your trauma is caused by your own flaws or participation.
• I’ve tried therapy or couples work before—how is this different?
This work is trauma-centered, not relationship or symptom-centered. Your reality, injuries, and AVT (abuse-victimization-trauma) are the focus—not fixing coupleship or managing “addiction" / being a co-addict in response to the betrayer.
• Is this confidential? 100%. Group norms require safety, privacy, and no outside sharing.
We understand that true healing requires a comprehensive approach. While this is an independent group program, we recognize the value of specific resources for individual needs.
For clients seeking betrayer-focused group work: We maintain a select, curated list of trusted professionals and programs that align with a commitment to accountability and growth. We encourage you to research your options and choose the path that best supports your recovery model and vision for relational repair.
No. Your healing does not depend on their participation, sobriety, or “success.” All relationship outcomes are honored.
• Can I join the group if I do not live near you? Yes. This group meets securely on Zoom, so partners may join from anywhere in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and other international locations. You will need a private, reliable place to participate, a stable internet connection, and the ability to attend at the scheduled group time in your local time zone. The group meets every Wednesday at 3:15 PM Pacific / 6:15 PM Eastern. Your Zoom invitation and calendar link will reflect the meeting time for your location.
• Who is this specialized approach for?
This group is a specialized clinical resource for partners seeking betrayal trauma recovery, specifically those navigating the Minwalla Model, Integrity Abuse, and the Secret Sexual Basement. It serves as an independent, high-level, tangible, separate healing path, regardless of whether the betrayer is in DSTE, Harm to Healing, DST recovery, addiction, or SA models.
• Is this a “codependency curriculum”?
No. This program will NEVER suggest your trauma is caused by your own flaws or participation.
• I’ve tried therapy or couples work before—how is this different?
This work is trauma-centered, not relationship or symptom-centered. Your reality, injuries, and AVT (abuse-victimization-trauma) are the focus—not fixing coupleship or managing “addiction" / being a co-addict in response to the betrayer.
• Is this confidential? 100%. Group norms require safety, privacy, and no outside sharing.
We understand that true healing requires a comprehensive approach. While this is an independent group program, we recognize the value of specific resources for individual needs.
For clients seeking betrayer-focused group work: We maintain a select, curated list of trusted professionals and programs that align with a commitment to accountability and growth. We encourage you to research your options and choose the path that best supports your recovery model and vision for relational repair.
The journey you didn't choose
You never imagined you’d be here—facing the reality of a secret sexual basement, discovery trauma timelines, or reality-ego fragmentation. But here you are. Breathing. Surviving. And ready to do more than just cope. This isn’t couples therapy. This isn’t codependency work. This is trauma treatment—specialized, evidence-based, and designed specifically for the injured partner.
What This Group Is NOT
❌ Couples therapy
❌ Codependency treatment
❌ “It takes two to tango” blame
❌ Premature forgiveness or reconciliation pressure
❌ Generic betrayal support without DST-specific education
What This Group IS
✅ Partner-sensitive, trauma-informed, abuse-acknowledging care
✅ Led by a fully DSTT/Minwalla-trained professional - Michellene Burke (completed DSTT professional training; program is now closed to new cohorts)
✅ A space to name, witness, and metabolize your AVT-existing reality
✅ Evidence-based somatic, cognitive, and relational interventions
✅ This is your Clinical Operations Room. Unlike "soft support" groups that default or weigh heavily on crying it out, let's focus on metabolizing the AVT (Abuse-Victim-Trauma). We provide the Minwalla-based strategic framework to map the damage, clear the confusion, and reclaim your Sovereign Self and voice.
What This Group Is NOT
❌ Couples therapy
❌ Codependency treatment
❌ “It takes two to tango” blame
❌ Premature forgiveness or reconciliation pressure
❌ Generic betrayal support without DST-specific education
What This Group IS
✅ Partner-sensitive, trauma-informed, abuse-acknowledging care
✅ Led by a fully DSTT/Minwalla-trained professional - Michellene Burke (completed DSTT professional training; program is now closed to new cohorts)
✅ A space to name, witness, and metabolize your AVT-existing reality
✅ Evidence-based somatic, cognitive, and relational interventions
✅ This is your Clinical Operations Room. Unlike "soft support" groups that default or weigh heavily on crying it out, let's focus on metabolizing the AVT (Abuse-Victim-Trauma). We provide the Minwalla-based strategic framework to map the damage, clear the confusion, and reclaim your Sovereign Self and voice.
Get Started: Clarity Call - Let’s talk. This is a safe, confidential space to share your story, ask questions, and see if this group feels right for where you are now.
Initial 12-Week Foundation Experience
$997 paid in full or 3 payments of $365
The first 12 weeks include weekly 75-minute Zoom meetings, structured group facilitation, betrayal-trauma-informed education, guided reflection, practical recovery tools, and a confidential community of betrayed partners who understand.
Ongoing Group Membership
After completing the initial 12-week Foundation Experience, members may continue in the group for $325 per month. Ongoing membership includes weekly 75-minute Zoom meetings, continued support and processing, practical application of the material, and ongoing connection with women who understand.
After the initial 12-week commitment, membership continues month-to-month. Members may discontinue with 30 days’ written notice. The monthly fee reserves a member’s place in the group and is not adjusted for missed sessions. The group will usually have 4 betrayed partners and is limited to a maximum of 7.
You’re choosing:
Your shared reality over gaslighting
Your healing over being told to “get over it”
Your worth over settling for crumbs and confusion
Initial 12-Week Foundation Experience
$997 paid in full or 3 payments of $365
The first 12 weeks include weekly 75-minute Zoom meetings, structured group facilitation, betrayal-trauma-informed education, guided reflection, practical recovery tools, and a confidential community of betrayed partners who understand.
Ongoing Group Membership
After completing the initial 12-week Foundation Experience, members may continue in the group for $325 per month. Ongoing membership includes weekly 75-minute Zoom meetings, continued support and processing, practical application of the material, and ongoing connection with women who understand.
After the initial 12-week commitment, membership continues month-to-month. Members may discontinue with 30 days’ written notice. The monthly fee reserves a member’s place in the group and is not adjusted for missed sessions. The group will usually have 4 betrayed partners and is limited to a maximum of 7.
You’re choosing:
Your shared reality over gaslighting
Your healing over being told to “get over it”
Your worth over settling for crumbs and confusion
Schedule a Confidential
Group Fit Consultation
Investment and Payment Options
Grief That No One Sees
Your grief is multilayered:
Mourning the loss of your old life
the illusions of safety, honesty, and love you once believed in.
Grieving lost potential futures
the life and family you once imagined but now seem impossible.
Feeling the loss of community
friends and family who may drift away, unable to understand your changed reality.
Mourning the loss of identity
the person you thought you were, fractured beneath the weight of betrayal.
This ambiguous, layered grief can feel relentless and incomprehensible, resisting closure because the betrayal remains ongoing or obscured. It deserves compassion, recognition, and sacred space for healing.
Mourning the loss of your old life
the illusions of safety, honesty, and love you once believed in.
Grieving lost potential futures
the life and family you once imagined but now seem impossible.
Feeling the loss of community
friends and family who may drift away, unable to understand your changed reality.
Mourning the loss of identity
the person you thought you were, fractured beneath the weight of betrayal.
This ambiguous, layered grief can feel relentless and incomprehensible, resisting closure because the betrayal remains ongoing or obscured. It deserves compassion, recognition, and sacred space for healing.
Steadfast Support for the Storms Between Sessions
The hardest moments don't happen on a scheduled Zoom call. They happen in the quiet moments when the uncertainty feels heaviest. I am here every step of the way.
A Steady Hand: I offer a container that is consistent and strong, so you can finally stop "managing" everything and just breathe.
Attuned Care: We don't rush you. We metabolize the truth with deep clinical skill and radical gentleness.
Commitment to YOU: My loyalty is to your wellness. Whether you are in a moment of strength or a moment of collapse, I am here to hold the map that you are navigating.
Unlike generic support, our group is shaped by best practices from varying models and approaches by Dr. Minwalla, Chris Jones, and APSATS. This program is also refined by the lived experience of hundreds of survivors. We reject victim-blaming, codependency labels, and “forgive and move on” pressure. Our approach is not in coordination or collaboration with other groups; it remains steadfast in its purpose of an independent, sovereign, supportive, and illuminating practice.
A Steady Hand: I offer a container that is consistent and strong, so you can finally stop "managing" everything and just breathe.
Attuned Care: We don't rush you. We metabolize the truth with deep clinical skill and radical gentleness.
Commitment to YOU: My loyalty is to your wellness. Whether you are in a moment of strength or a moment of collapse, I am here to hold the map that you are navigating.
Unlike generic support, our group is shaped by best practices from varying models and approaches by Dr. Minwalla, Chris Jones, and APSATS. This program is also refined by the lived experience of hundreds of survivors. We reject victim-blaming, codependency labels, and “forgive and move on” pressure. Our approach is not in coordination or collaboration with other groups; it remains steadfast in its purpose of an independent, sovereign, supportive, and illuminating practice.
Meet your Facilitator: Michellene Burke
Drawing on my deep clinical expertise and having completed specialized training in the DSTT model (program now closed to new cohorts), and an integrative somatic approach, I offer care that goes beyond traditional betrayal trauma approaches by:
· Holding radical validation for your experience without blame or pathologizing you.
· Integrating somatic healing to address trauma embodied beyond the mind.
· Honoring your full intersectional identity—cultural, spiritual, faith-based, LGBTQ+, and more.
· Supporting you whether you’re preparing to leave, healing post-separation, or rebuilding within the relationship.
· Providing guidance for safety, boundary-setting, and navigating complex emotional terrain.
· Recognizing and treating treatment-induced trauma often overlooked elsewhere.
· Holding radical validation for your experience without blame or pathologizing you.
· Integrating somatic healing to address trauma embodied beyond the mind.
· Honoring your full intersectional identity—cultural, spiritual, faith-based, LGBTQ+, and more.
· Supporting you whether you’re preparing to leave, healing post-separation, or rebuilding within the relationship.
· Providing guidance for safety, boundary-setting, and navigating complex emotional terrain.
· Recognizing and treating treatment-induced trauma often overlooked elsewhere.
I walk fiercely with you, helping rewire survival patterns, restore self-trust, and rebuild authentic connection. Your unique story, voice, and power shape your healing journey here.
Why reach out to me? Why reach out to me?
Healing is not about returning to what was—it’s about creating something entirely new. Together, we navigate the complex terrain from the chaos of betrayal trauma toward clarity, resilience, and growth. You will learn to trust your intuition again, confidently identify red and green flags, reclaim your body and identity, and build meaningful relationships based on respect and authenticity.
This group is a specialized resource for partners navigating the Minwalla Model, Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DSTT), and Integrity Abuse Disorder (IAD).
It serves as the high-level, independent clinical approach for partners whose spouses are attending Be A Better Man, From Harm to Healing, or DSTE intensives. We specialize in treating Reality-Ego Fragmentation and Complex Trauma Shaping (CTS).
This group is a specialized resource for partners navigating the Minwalla Model, Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DSTT), and Integrity Abuse Disorder (IAD).
It serves as the high-level, independent clinical approach for partners whose spouses are attending Be A Better Man, From Harm to Healing, or DSTE intensives. We specialize in treating Reality-Ego Fragmentation and Complex Trauma Shaping (CTS).
Moving From Surviving to Living Fully
Long-Term Healing and Thriving:
“Michellene's group saved my sanity. I finally had language for what happened to me—it wasn’t codependency, it was covert-phase integrity abuse.” — A.M.
“Michellene helped me understand my discovery trauma timeline. Seeing it all laid out—the car crashes, the integrity abuse at each one—I finally stopped blaming myself.” — L.T.
“The ‘eating the elephant’ metaphor changed everything. I wasn’t crazy for needing time. I was metabolizing 15 years of deception.” — K.R.
“Michellene helped me understand my discovery trauma timeline. Seeing it all laid out—the car crashes, the integrity abuse at each one—I finally stopped blaming myself.” — L.T.
“The ‘eating the elephant’ metaphor changed everything. I wasn’t crazy for needing time. I was metabolizing 15 years of deception.” — K.R.
